Many men who see themselves as particularly nice and helpful have difficulty finding a girlfriend or partner. It seems that their efforts to be especially kind and accommodating do not yield the desired results. But what is really behind this phenomenon? The speaker in the video analyzes the reasons and explains why “nice guys” often fail to find a partner.
1. The Pretended Niceness
The first reason why seemingly nice men fail to find a partner is that their kindness is not authentic. Many men display a feigned niceness that aims more at evoking emotions in women than genuinely coming from within. This staged friendliness is quickly recognized by women, who then show little interest in such behavior. It appears unnatural and insincere, reducing the likelihood that these men can truly build a deeper connection.
2. Lack of Authenticity
The second reason for failure in finding a partner is the absence of authenticity. A man who constantly puts on a facade to present an ideal image of himself sends a clear message: he has no real self-worth. Authenticity is crucial for gaining a woman’s trust and interest. If a man cannot express his true thoughts and feelings, he is perceived as insecure. This insecurity negatively affects his relationships and prevents him from forming genuine connections.
3. Fear of Rejection
A third reason why nice men often fail to find a partner is their inability to handle rejection. Many of these men have received too few “no’s” in their lives and are therefore not practiced in dealing with rejections or dismissals. They see it as a personal defeat when a woman is not interested and often respond with exaggerated friendliness to mask their insecurity. This fear of rejection causes them to behave inauthentically and unnaturally, which can be off-putting.
4. Exaggerated Kindness as a Shield
The excessive kindness of these men is often a shield. They believe that by being extremely helpful and friendly, they can win women’s attention. However, this behavior often comes across as intrusive and insincere. Women perceive this exaggerated kindness as an attempt to gain a preferred position. Instead of showing who they really are, false masks are put on, which are difficult for most people, especially women, to see through.
5. Dealing with Rejections
An important point the speaker addresses is the handling of rejections. When a man cannot cope with a dismissal, it leads to further insecurities and reinforces the tendency to behave inappropriately. However, it is important to understand that rejections are a natural part of life and dating. Those who can handle a “no” well demonstrate strength and self-confidence. Men who are discouraged by rejections often struggle to truly engage in a partnership.
6. Behavior Towards Women of Varying Attractiveness
Another problem many “nice guys” face is that they behave differently depending on how attractive they find a woman. They are often particularly friendly to women they consider very attractive, while being less engaged with less “pretty” women. This behavior is not only insincere but also disrespectful to women, as it creates the impression that they are valued only for their looks. Women quickly notice when a man appreciates them solely based on their appearance and lose interest.
7. Why You Should Be Yourself
The speaker emphasizes the importance of being authentic. Instead of forcing oneself into a role or falling into false kindness, every man should learn to stay true to himself. Of course, it can be helpful to develop and work on one’s personality, but this should not come at the expense of one’s authenticity. People who are themselves and do not wear a mask are much more attractive to others – not just to women, but also to men.
In summary, it is not enough for “nice guys” to simply behave nicely to find a partner. Authenticity, handling rejections, and the ability to stay true to oneself are crucial for success in dating. Instead of forcing themselves into a role or constantly trying to please others, it is better to live out their personality and connect in a natural way.
If you want to learn more about how to become a more authentic and self-confident man in dating, visit Sascha Kronfeger’s website.
